Becoming One with the Universe is Not the Goal

Becoming "One" with the universe is not the goal. It's not the truth of who we are, either; at least I don't think so.

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard or read that the "Goal"-with-a-capital-"G" was to become One with the universe, or with all of life, or with each other, or with you-name-it, I'd have a sizeable bank account by now. If you study any of the "Eastern" religions, you'll run into the idea, too. The idea, as I understand it, is that we are all parts of God somehow; that we started out, and at our most fundamental still are, a single entity that's trying to get to know itself by having divided itself just enough so it can see itself from different viewpoints.

Along with this advice, go comments like, "Love is about seeking or finding our other half," and "Suffering is just an illusion," supposedly because the physical universe, and everything that happens in it, is a journey designed to see the rest of our “self” and to ultimately bring us back together in spirit.

While it's a romantic idea, everything I've learned about how the universe works leads me to believe that we are, in fact, separate and unique individuals.

There's an old joke I recall from when I was a kid: "When 2 people get married, they become one. The problems start when they try to decide which one." I think the joke is almost too true to be funny. Responsibility is about who did what, and who didn't do what. The idea that we are all basically one entity blurs and confuses responsibility -- cause and effect -- and does nothing to promote understanding in our everyday lives. If anything, I think the whole idea promotes insanity, not to mention that it makes for some pretty sad relationships.

Maybe that sounds harsh, but I spent a lot of time and effort trying to meditate away the pain and suffering I saw in everyday life, and the difficulties I experienced, too. I tried really hard to believe that we are all really spiritual beings, and that whatever pain and suffering we see or experience is just the result of losing touch with that supposed "Fact." Supposedly, the hurt isn't real, since nothing physical is real. Supposedly, with "Right Thinking," we wouldn't need the bad stuff, and somehow, for the "Adept," it all magically goes away. Well, I looked, and it turns out that even the supposedly great gurus and masters suffer and die in the end; they're just stoic about it.

After years of pursuing that philosophy, I finally decided that even were I to assume that there's some esoteric, ultimate, state of being; where we somehow all join together into a single whole; the fact is that between here and there we are a lot better off thinking and acting as if we are unique individuals. As far as I can see, the confusion over what's real -- to the point of arguing with ourselves about what hurts -- contributes to insanity, if nothing else.

In the end. I decided that there had to be a way to really make the world a better place; a place with less pain and suffering; a place where we can actually do things to make change. And that's not going to happen if we keep trying to meditate our way to insulated numbness rather than actually trying to address the problems we see and experience. Perhaps it's possible to achieve some kind of "Nirvana" by going away to some isolated place on a remote mountaintop; some place where we no longer have to deal with everyday life; but that's not for me -- at least not this lifetime.

Since coming to my decision, I've had to deal with the question of why the "Oneness" idea is so seductive. Among other things, it does provide a mechanism we can use to insulate ourselves and to separate from pain and suffering. Drugs do that, too, though, and few people, myself included, think that drugs are a good answer to the problems of the world. Surely, the Creator -- assuming there is one -- did not put us here for the purpose of learning to do drugs. Furthermore, the escape is not just from the pain and suffering we experience, it has a lot to do with escaping our responsibility for causing some of it. I think that part, the part that says "I have caused pain or suffering," is actually a lot harder to confront than the pain I personally experience. Ignorance really can be blissful when it comes to my own responsibility for my own mistakes and the misunderstandings I've created or to which I've contributed.

On the other hand, it's certainly true that things that affect others tend to affect me, too; there is a perceived "sharing" of experience. We even have at least one built-in mechanism that facilitates sharing experience. "Mirror neurons" in our brains are one such mechanism.

When we see -- or imagine, for that matter -- something happen to another person (or any other life form), our brains fire off neurons as though we were that other person or life form, and as though we were experiencing the event ourselves. I would propose, however, that the survival value of that mechanism has more to do with learning through the experience of others than it does to showing us that "Your pain is my pain."

Your pain -- and your success, too -- is not mine. It didn't really happen to me. If the perceived event is focused on the doing (cause) rather than the experiencing (effect), then it's also true that I didn't cause it -- you did or someone else did. I would propose that we need to realize who did what and who felt what if we are to promote sanity and to fix problems. Even though the same nerves are fired off when we "share" an experience as when we "have" the experience, we can still know who's who, and I'm convinced that's vital if we're to learn.

I think there's another mechanism at work here, too; namely that as truly separate spiritual beings, one of our reasons for being here is a fundamental desire to interact and cooperate with each other -- not just humans, but all life forms. I think that's a fundamental, spiritual truth; having once interacted with another being, we want to do it again and again. It's a significant part of "who we really are." Being innately separate beings is lonely once we discover that we are not really alone.

Note however, that interacting and cooperating are very different than "being-the-same-as" the ones with whom we interact and cooperate. The difference is really quite profound. In cooperating, among other things, we have choice and responsibility, while in "being-one-with," the choices and causes are made elsewhere -- by God, or by the universe, or whatever else you might call it.

That's enough for one post, I think. No doubt this will come up again in many other posts as we go along.